Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
