didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
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I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
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is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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