How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
