I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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