I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
