Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
