I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
