im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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