I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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