Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
