I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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