marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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