aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
