I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
