A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
