Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
