No more Irish car bombs ever.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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