I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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