I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
