I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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