I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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