you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
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Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
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does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize