nut hugger
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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