as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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