Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
