So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
