just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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