I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
