You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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