Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The adults are the big ones right?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
