i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
