This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
