So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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