I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
