I'm so fucking centered right now
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I want a musical about memes.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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