Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I checked into jail on foursquare
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
