Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
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So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
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It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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