i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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