You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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