Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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