and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
