I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
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Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
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I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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