All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
