Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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