I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
