She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
