Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
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Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
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If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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