Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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