Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
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Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
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Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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