1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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