I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
