i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
