Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
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