I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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