those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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