hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
