So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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