So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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